We work for women of all ages

Domestic violence can happen to anyone at any age. Older women – just as younger women – experience domestic violence in the form of physical, sexual, emotional and financial abuse from their partners and other family members, and the dynamics of power and control are the same.

One in four Australian women who have experienced a recent incident of physical violence are aged 45 and older, and older women are now entering homeless services in greater numbers than older men.

And a 2004 British report, Older Women and Domestic Violence, found that women aged over 60 who are victims of domestic violence suffer in silence because professionals and policy-makers ignore the problem. The report identified a common misperception that, "it can't be that bad or she would have left years ago."

We know that older women tend not to seek help at the same rate as younger women. Often they are invisible to domestic violence service providers.

Older women who are abused experience the same challenges as younger women, but they face additional ones, too. These may include:

• having married during a time when domestic abuse was considered a 'private matter'
• having married during a time when a marriage commitment was unquestioningly lifelong
• feeling afraid to live alone after being with someone for many years
• having lived with abuse for many years, which may have added to feelings of isolation, poor self esteem, lack of career or independent income
• not knowing who to ask for help
• being dependent on their partner for care
• feeling a duty to take care of an ageing partner
• not knowing a lot about risks of sexually transmitted infections (STIs)
• having less of a support network, such as when friends retire and move away, or pass on.

Women's Refuge will provide advice and support to any woman, no matter your age, even if it means putting you in touch with more appropriate services. We work closely with Age Concern, which has provided the story below of a real-life scenario of abuse of an older woman.

Mrs T is housebound due to health and mobility problems. She is dependent on her daughter Sarah for shopping and any other errands. Due to her daughter’s mismanagement of her finances, Mrs T is now in considerable debt. She is under threat of power and telephone disconnection, doesn’t have enough money to cover her weekly medication costs, and her health is rapidly going downhill.

Sarah has a history of physical abuse toward her mother. Her mood swings and intimidation tactics have made her mother very fearful of her. Mrs T is aware she doesn’t have the strength she once had and is feeling increasingly afraid of being home alone with Sarah.

Neighbours regularly hear shouting and bad language coming from Mrs T's house. One night it is particularly bad. Inspired by the ads on TV, a neighbour calls the police. The police find Mrs T on the floor, her head bleeding. After some investigation, they issue a Police Safety Order, removing Sarah from the house. Age Concern receives notice of this event from police the next day and immediately contact Mrs T offering their support.

Mrs T is afraid and ashamed, but also a little relieved. She hadn't realised how tense she had become around her daughter. She is very worried about what will happen now the police have taken her daughter away. Who will do her shopping and pay her bills? What will happen to Sarah? What will Sarah do to her when she's allowed to come back?

Age Concern talks to Mrs T about other organisations that might be able to help. Together they contact Women's Refuge – not to go to a refuge, but to talk to the people there and learn a little more about what can be done to help her, and to help her daughter.

The Women’s Refuge advocate and Age Concern coordinator work together with Mrs T to sort out all the issues she is facing and find a way through them. A meeting is held to which Mrs T invites her son and his family, her neighbour and her pastor – people who are important to her. Sarah is also included in the meeting, as is Women’s Refuge, Age Concern and a community social worker from the District Health Board.

They jointly agree a plan for ensuring Mrs T is able to live safely at home. Unfortunately Sarah is not yet prepared to change her violent behaviour and so Mrs T decides to apply for a Protection Order, hoping that if Sarah is forced to attend a stopping violence programme, one day they will be able to be a 'proper' family again.– A story of physical and financial abuse of Mrs T aged 79 (provided by Age Concern)