At long last we were able to be more like normal loving human beings. My children and I could laugh and joke with one another out in the open. I didn't have to rush them off to bed to protect them from the abuse. We were no longer full of fear and terrified of opening our mouths.
I knew I could go shopping with the kids and if we were held up, I no longer got into a state of fear, panic and sweat about what would happen if he came home before us without his dinner being ready.
I was now able to have friends visit me without fear of him coming in and being rude to them so that they didn't come back again. And I could now go to sleep at night and actually sleep instead of tossing and turning in fear that he would come in drunk and abusive.
Losing the fear didn't happen straight away after I left him. It took a few years. If he were to walk up the driveway now, I wouldn't like it, but I would not be frightened. I feel more of a person.