My name is Mere and I have been in a relationship with one woman for nearly 15 years. There was a lot of violence and cruelty involved, but most of all there was fear. I think there is a big number of lesbians that do live in fear, as for us, there isn't the same amount of support from the community and especially from the Justice Department. My daughter and I used to be on the run all the time, trying to find somewhere new to live and somewhere to be safe. We heard about the Women's Refuge and the both of us were scared to ring or even to come in, as the thought of me being lesbian, well I didn't think it was the right place for us. Sometimes when other people find out that you are a lesbian everything seems to change. You get treated differently, put into a class of your own, so you think what the hell, you may as well pull back and stay alone.
In the end it got to the stage where we had no other place to go, and I needed help and support desperately. So we came into Refuge and that was the best decision that I had ever made. When we first came into Refuge I never hid the fact that I was a lesbian, and the women that helped us, they were terrific. I found that I was treated like any other woman, with the same support, the knowledge of what I might be able to do, where I might be able to receive extra support; and, if needed, to be taken to a lawyer to see if I had any grounds for getting orders out on my partner.
For me and especially my daughter, who needed a lot of help in all areas of abuse, the Women's Refuge that we came into gave us all the support that we needed, and most of all the chance to live again, and to know what it is like to be happy. We still have a lot of ground to cover, but now that we know that we want to support Refuge ourselves, I know in my heart that we will make it together. If I could give the knowledge that I have learnt in Refuge to other women and children in the same circumstances then I would try and give them all the support that they ever needed.