Because of my first and past experience of the Women's Refuge, I wish to share with other women and men the experiences, tears, heartache, depression, humiliation and sorrow that I have felt coming to a Women's Refuge second time around.
First of all I would like to extend my sincere appreciation of all the help and experience and knowledge that I have gained since going through a Women's Refuge. I would also like to thank all the other women who I lived with and shared part of my life with, to help me be the person I am today.
My purpose for coming to Refuge, second time around, was because I was verbally abused for not going home when I was told to, after attending a week of two tangi; one a tragic one involving my sister and the second a cot death of a baby who was four weeks old. I held that baby in my arms and I knew her grandmother. For the grandmother I returned my aroha and attended that funeral till the end because she karanga'ed my family and friends of my sister who was tragically killed in a domestic situation. Her husband committed suicide shortly after her death and all of this was done in front of their children, close friends and neighbours.
Through all of this, I was asked by a member of my family to deal with the situation, as I am the eldest of 11 children. I went there to do my duty and carried it out to the full.
I returned to my house, only to be confronted by my husband with the words, “you have a fucking cheek coming back here. You're your own boss now”.
Without saying anything to make the situation worse, because he hates lectures or explanations, I left the next day to go to the Refuge.
With my past knowledge of the Refuge, I have been able to share my past experience of my life - from infancy to married life to separation to unfaithfulness of my husband. Many, many things.